In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Close Up.”
I oftentimes get tired of myself. I always blame myself for everything that goes the wrong way. And if people will help me, I hardly accept it. Partly because of pride but mostly because I don’t want them to go deeper. I don’t want them to look at me nearer. I don’t want them to know more about me. I’m scared that if they would get too close, I will end up wounded because they won’t like me. THE REAL ME. And I don’t know if they would get along with my caged psychopath suppressed in the pits of my self-created hell.
In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Door.”
I’m in my late teens. Barely twenty years old. Some people of my age find it necessary to have more friends but as for myself, it’s not. I’m selectively social. I’m bad at starting a conversation with a “potential” friend. I’m awkward with almost everything. I struggle to even say ‘hi’ cos I’m just like that. I’m calculative and paranoid at the same time, and I know it’s a bad combination. So if you wanna ask if I ever had a boyfriend, I suppose you know the answer. I don’t know if it’s bad that I am not really open to potential relationships around me but I grew up like this and no one ever pointed it out.
Hi. I actually like writing poems. It’s kind of my outlet when life goes the wrong way. It’s like my boat when I’m about to drown. I oftentimes feel lonely. That I have no one to talk to, no shoulder to lean on. And it hurts badly. Even my closest friends don’t even notice that I’m lonely and broken and morose. Well, one of the disadvantages of my personality–or should I say facade. I’m always rainbow and sunshine, that’s why. Anyways, here’s a poem of solitude I wrote:
Smoke that slowly seeping in—
Like a wild fire in an open field.
Feeding my insecurities
Of profanities and so much more.
It’s seeping in.
Deeper as it goes.
It reaches my core,
‘Til I’m overdone.
And all that’s left—
Is either an empty vessel,
Or an aggressive demon.
I’m not sure
Which is worse.
Kind of nonsense but I wrote this with raw emotions. Teehee.
Hi. I’m not really sociable. I don’t even know what posts am I going to post here. I just wanna have something going on with my life to keep it balanced, hence, this blog was made. Don’t expect much from this blog. Lol.